Fat stole my joy
Going to start this post with a warning. I am a woman about to talk about her weight. If this topic doesn’t interest you, you may want to click on over to another topic. I know women whining about their weight is as cliché as it gets, but I had an ah-ha moment today and wanted to share it.
Have you ever read something and just felt total conviction. You let the words wash over you and just knew that you were wrong. I had one of those moments this morning. I read a blog post by a friend of mine and she had a little home decor item with a phrase that said ‘She knew that when her affection was set on things above that nothing could steal her joy.’(Giving due props to my friend, you can check out her blog here http://www.thebarelafamily.com/joy-stealer/).
I run this fine balance between trying to be fit and trying to fit in. Being fit is my biblical view, it’s what I feel God wants of me. He wants me to treat my body with the respect it deserves. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I need to act like it. Trying to fit in is a world view, wanting my body to look good compared to others. Wanting a body/shape that is not necessarily envied, but gives something for others to aspire towards. There is a BIG difference between these two. BIG, B-I-G, B to the I to the G, BIG. When I workout, I feel good about myself, my jeans fit well, I eat better food, I have more energy, I’m kinder to my family, I just feel better. However, all that can be stolen in an instant if I step on the scale. I can have all those positive feelings and love the way I look, but if I get on the scale and the weight reflects even a pound over where I want to be (or at least where I think I want to be), then my joy is stolen. Bottom line, I let fat steal my joy. How ridiculous is that?!?
I frequently tell my kids to choose joy. We assess their situation, why they are disappointed, what they wish would be the reality instead and then I ask that they choose joy. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they let their circumstances define their mood, but I encourage them to choose joy despite the circumstance. So, with that sound bit of parenting advice, why did I find myself staring at a scale and being disappointed in myself. I wasn’t choosing joy, I wasn’t focusing on my God above, but instead on my body below. The moment I shifted my focus upwards, I again felt those happy feelings come flooding over me again. I’m so thankful to have the Holy Spirit in me to give me that conviction that I very much needed. John 10:10 says, ‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” I let the thief in this morning and let him steal my joy. But I am a forgiven and cared for by a Father that gave me a Savior that reminds me to look up and make a joyful noise. Amen!
On to workout news, after the marathon I took almost a full week off. I did a very mild 30 minute spin and upper body workout on Friday and then went on my first post marathon run on Saturday. I did 4 miles and it was awesome, my fastest time ever! It wasn’t so much awesome because of the time (though that always helps), it was more that it just felt really good to be out running again…and only running 4 miles:) Then this week I started doing crossfit workouts. Due to the kindness of a neighbor who is a crossfit trainer, he is offering to train his wife and me 3 days a week. His garage is set up like a crossfit gym (as least that’s what I’m told since I’ve never actually been to a CF gym). I’ve done 2 workouts this week so far, and like them. I love change and this CF stuff is all new to me, so I’m enjoying the season of change. Plus it gives me a workout friend and accountability which is always nice. Also, I bought a new bathing suit (on clearance, WOOHOO), so I can now be getting back into the pool to add some variety to my workouts.
Lots of other thoughts on my mind, but don’t want this post to be all over the place, so will sign off for now. Happy Wednesday!